Friday, April 15, 2011

What's in a word?

Did you ever notice how many different ways there are to say tired?  Weary...exhausted...pooped...sleepy...worn out...drained...dog tired...beat...spent...overtaxed...and so many more.  There are also so many different definitions of tired that it's enough to blow your mind.  There's the tired like sleepy, where you can't stop yawning and your eyes close as soon as your head hits the pillow.  There's body-tired, when your entire body aches and you can barely stand up because every muscle in your body is screaming at you to sit down.  There's exhausted tired, which to me is every kind of tired all rolled into one.  You can barely stay awake because you haven't had enough sleep lately, it feels like your whole body will turn to mush any second, and your brain is no longer functioning as it should be because of all the tiredness you are experiencing.  Here's what I have been wondering lately.  What's the best word to use when it isn't your body that is tired...it's your soul?  Have you ever experienced that?  These days, I feel soul tired...world weary...just plain achingly tired of nearly everything.  My soul feels like it could use a good long nap and a spa day.  I can barely make the smallest of decisions anymore for fear of making the wrong one.  I burst into tears for no reason at least once a day.  I, who used to be so proud of my stores of patience, have almost zero tolerance for anything even remotely annoying these days.  I have stopped doing so many things I used to love to do because I am just "too tired" to do anything.  The question is, how tired is "too tired"?  At what point do I finally say "ENOUGH!" and do whatever I have to do to figure out what is wrong with me?  I get headaches constantly, and I eat antacids like other people eat Skittles.  This tired carries over into my body and mind, but this time, a good nap is not the answer.  So what is?  If I can figure it out, maybe I can feel well-rested again for the first time in a long time.  Until then, I'll just carry a travel pillow in case I see the opportunity for a five minute catnap.  Zzzzzzzzz...

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